k3, *yo, k1, sk2p, k1, yo, k1, rep from * to last 2 sts, k2.
next row. k2, p to last 2 sts, k2.
it’s 23 total sts. 23 sts to make a new neural pathway. it’s not rocket science; it’s knitting
and so I am learning that I must kill pride in accomplishment of the simple, mundane tasks. “oh, that’s nothing, anyone can do that!” can be an expression of self-absorption.
When I was a tutor — when I taught classes of students with learning “differences”–I praised them for perseverance; I emphasized that they needed to plan to edit and rewrite. They had to plan ahead; there was no such thing as a “last minute” assignment. Meanwhile, I was silently grateful for being able to procrastinate; happy that I could write and think under pressure.
Thinking about it, the change hasn’t been completely sudden (i.e. just this past year, since my cancer diagnosis); it has been more gradual over the past eight years or so. I think as my heart damage has increased, I just can’t take the increased adrenalin rush that procrastinating causes. Hurrying really does cause stress to the entire nervous system.
And so now I am “learning” some of the more simple tasks. I can be frustrated, or I can be patient. I can be upset, or I can do something several times. I can be impatient, or I can remember each time I do a stitch “again” that God’s love for me is unending; He teaches me over and over again. His love never fails. I can rest in Him.
Just like a little child with His mama.
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the LORD
(Psalm 131 ESV)
Plea for Grace 