Psalm 119:81-88 ESV –
81 [Kaph] My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word.
82 My eyes long for your promise; I ask, “When will you comfort me?”
83 For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, yet I have not forgotten your statutes.
84 How long must your servant endure? When will you judge those who persecute me?
85 The insolent have dug pitfalls for me; they do not live according to your law.
86 All your commandments are sure; they persecute me with falsehood; help me!
87 They have almost made an end of me on earth, but I have not forsaken your precepts.
88 In your steadfast love give me life, that I may keep the testimonies of your mouth.
Some days are easier than others. There. I spoke it out loud. Some days I feel lonely. useless. misunderstood. misused. dismissed. tired. pain-ridden. foggy-brained. . . (feel free to add your own modifiers)
When I am having one of those “what’s the point?” days (and, yes, there have been
many more than one, over the years) I am even more grateful than usual for God’s Word planted (stored) in my heart. God’s truth must have more credibility than my feelings. That even sounds strange to say — “of course, God’s Word is true!” but, be honest — what has more impact on your mood, your identity, your behavior: your feelings, or God’s Word?
Feelings come and go. Seriously. Some days I feel useful. content. hopeful. significant . . .(feel free to add your own modifier). Is God’s Word more true on those days? No. “Forever, O Lord, Your Word is firmly fixed in the heavens . . ” (Psalm 119:89). There is no substitute for memorizing/meditating on God’s Word. Otherwise, I am prone to believe my feelings. And my feelings change. But . . .
Psalm 102:25-27 ESV –
25 Of old you [God] laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands.
26 They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
27 but you are the same, and your years have no end.
By the way, if Psalm 119 intrigues you, Sweeter Than Chocolate: an Inductive Study of Psalm 119, by Pam Gillaspie is an excellent “digging deeper” into this psalm. There will be an online, live discussion of this 8 week study, beginning June 13. Beloved Truth Psalm 119 study. You can purchase the workbook here Amazon or here Precept Ministries
If your schedule doesn’t allow for a weekly commitment, Pam Gillaspie is also offering her study on her website in a flexible format. You can sign up here https://pamgillaspie.com/
Having God’s Word in my heart is the only way that I can survive the “wineskin in the smoke” days . . .