Psalm 142:1-7 ESV - A Maskil of David, when he was in the cave. A Prayer. 1 With my voice I cry out to the LORD; with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD. 2 I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. 3 When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. 4 Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul. 5 I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." 6 Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me! 7 Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me.
Sometimes it’s as though the psalmist was sitting with me over coffee, and we are talking about our day. That is how intentional, how personal our God is. He knows our frame, he knows everything about us (psalm 139) and He inspires a psalmist to put pen to parchment to illustrate how intimately He knows me!
It’s ok to pray out loud. It’s ok to lay out all the complaints and troubles. As I have said before, prayer is not telling God what He does not know so that he can jump up and act in the way I tell him . . .
when I verbalize that the retinal spasms are particularly vicious today, and when I can’t focus with one eye –I get fearful. I know rationally that when my body rests that my vision will return (just like when my body rests my lungs open up; my nerves calm down; my esophagus functions again, etc.) but during the time that I cannot focus there’s that little voice saying, “maybe this time it’s permanent; maybe it won’t come back” — because with a progressive disease that is a rational probability.
Telling God how I am feeling helps me know where my spirit is fainting and where those hidden traps of temptation are (v. 3)
Sometimes these “bouts” get very lonely. When I am particularly symptomatic I don’t really have much energy for people. Talking on the telephone is difficult. I can text and type but I also can’t see well so that is limited. Even though rest and alone time are beneficial, here is another hidden trap — I can get myself into a pity party where “no one cares and no one knows what’s happening . . .”
But God does know, and God is the perfect refuge. I don’t have to explain medical terms or give any kind of back story. I don’t have to expend energy making sure He feels comfortable. He knows me intimately. He made every cell in my body (including my endothelial cells) and He has a purpose for how all of them will work.
I can tell my Savior that this is a really tough day. I had some big plans (out of state family) for this weekend, and I truly don’t know how much I can even participate in the “family fun.” He knows my emotions as well as my physical being. I am trusting in His sovereignty, which will deliver me from the prison of self-pity and envy. I am thankful for such a good and righteous God, who will fulfill His purpose for me. My family actually will surround me, as will godly friends who are so faithful to pray even if being physically present is not possible.
God has dealt bountifully with me. He has given me His word, and assured me of His care and His presence. He has given me an understanding family and even a medical team that understands how to navigate this road. He has given me understanding and sympathetic friends. I am bountifully blessed!
Prayer for the Persecuted Church–OpenDoorsUSA
Day 6: Pray for the children of Bhutanese Christians—
that God would place people in their paths to raise
them up to lead the church in Bhutan
Daily Wisdom Psalm 11-15 Proverbs 3