Plea for Grace — December 19, 2022

Psalm 94:17-19 ESV - 
17 If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. 
18 When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up. 
19 When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

On September 30 I said that my regular posts would be less frequent . . .

Two days after my last post on November 4 I tested positive for Covid, one day after my husband got his results. Two weeks later I fell while playing with our dog. I am so grateful that this time I fell on the lawn rather than on the sidewalk or street so I only sprained and bruised and didn’t break anything. The irony of being in a month concentrated on “giving thanks” was not lost on me. In fact, I had been asking God to make me more habitually thankful and grateful in obedience to His Word.

It took about five weeks for the bruised ribs from coughing to heal, for the increased fatigue and dizziness to subside, and then, as expected with a progressive disease, to begin to determine what my “new normal” would be. Retinal spasms are more frequent; esophageal spasms trigger more easily; the line from exertion to over-exertion has grown even shorter . . .

While praying through this psalm this morning, I thought of how the Lord has been my help. I have asked Him to give me life according to His word when my soul is clinging to the dust [in exhaustion ](Psalm 119), and He has; I have asked him to strengthen me according to His word when my soul is melting with sorrow (Psalm 119), and He has. I have asked Him to put false ways far from me — show me the lies and blind spots so that I can reject them — and graciously teach me His law (Psalm 119), and he has. God’s commandments are not arbitrary. They are for our good. Consider this “help” as well —

1Th 5:14-18 ESV - 
14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle [undisciplined], encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 
15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 
16 Rejoice always, 
17 pray without ceasing, 
18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

My foot slips much more often than I wish, but each time God’s merciful gift of repentance is there, and His steadfast love holds me up. He has given me the breath and the life to admonish, to encourage, to help, to be patient, to wait for and trust in God’s justice, to do good. I can rejoice because God is my God. He is always with me, hearing my cries, receiving my praise, consoling and cheering my soul when I bring Him my many cares. I trust Him. I can thank Him no matter how much energy (or lack of) I have today. I am thankful that even when I cannot see to read well, I can listen to His Word, and I have “stored up His word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119).

God, You are my Savior. You are my Father. You are good and worthy of all my praise and obedience. Your consolations truly cheer my weary soul . . .